


Fill in the Squanch

by kattak0113



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Build up, M/M, Slow Burn, The Flesh Curtains, but for now..., smut later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:34:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28276152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattak0113/pseuds/kattak0113
Summary: So, what exactly happened after Ford Pines got sucked into his inter dimensional gateway? He met a gang of war criminals, and found out they had a lot more in common than they thought.
Relationships: Ford Pines/Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty), Stan Pines/Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty)
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written by a Ford kinnie- I think way to much about Rickford, and what could have possibly been while he was out there doing god knows what. There is a lot of lore, and a lot of mystery!

Scared eyes, mouth agape, and a desperate need for a shave. The last thing Standford Pines saw on a face identical to his own before the portal sucked him in. The fear was making him buzz, and the memories of what his assistant saw when he got a glance into the portal was enough of a reminder to tell Ford to close his eyes as tight as he could. This just left the etch of his brother’s face as the only thing on his mind, offering him no comfort since the feeling of floating through the unknown was numbing. 

Think fast. Think fast. 

He refuses to open his eyes, so he needs to rely on his other senses and information to know where he is. The silence is suffocating, and, with the way his body is twisting and turning through what he assumes to be an empty void, he can’t feel anything either. The most he has is the smell of Lee’s burnt shoulder lingering in his nose, which helps him with nothing. Crap. Ok, what does he know then? What he knows is that he was just sucked into an interdimensional gateway- so that has to be where he is. In one of the many, many possible dimensions. 

He’s gonna have to open his eyes. He’s gonna have to open his eyes and get a look at--

“Huh--?” His eyes open, and he's being sucked into another cut in the atmosphere before he could get a good look at his surroundings. He is engulfed by the color green, and as he's free falling through the air he sees the green swirly pattern close up into nothing. He was no longer floating, but feeling the way the wind fought him as he fell through the sky, legs kicking and arms swinging as a different kind of panic overwhelmed him. Grunts and yelps were cracking through his throat as he fell through the branches and leaves of a forest, knocking his glasses off and hitting his head and limbs on several different plant species he couldn’t get a good look at. He landed once, twice, and then a third time, bouncing on some squishy and conveniently placed organism that was resting on the ground that would have killed him. 

Before he could collect himself, and get the fear to stop racing through his veins, he was shook off the animal that caught him, making the scientist land face first into the ground as the organism continued its journey through the forest. It was blurry as he looked up from the grass, slipping on the extra pair of glasses to get a look at it before it left completely. From behind, it looked… gross. It had a very, very thin layer of hair on it, with two elephant feet carrying it through it’s path of the forest, and just a body, from what he could see. The body was just two spheres pushed together, greeting a sort of… double ball shape? And the tan skin was loose and a little saggy, and-- Oh my god.

Oh my god, Ford had just landed on a walking ballsack. What the fuck is this dimension? Where is he?

“Bluh--” He sticks his tongue out at the thought of what he just landed on, sitting up as he eyes his surroundings. The scientist is finally given a moment to collect his thoughts before he’s interrupted once more by the sound of a bird screech. When he looks up, an egg is perfectly dropped into his lap, much like he was perfectly dropped onto the strange animal. Bushy eyebrows push together, examining the large egg before he is given a hair cut by a laser zapping centimeters away from his head. “What? Oh-- Oh dear.” His eyes go wide again, and a tall, lanky man is running towards him while getting ready to shoot another blast at him. 

“Oh no, oh no, oh no.” Ford gets up, holding onto the egg out of instinct, and running a head, jumping and dodging from the laser zaps the best he could. He’s jumping over logs, ducking from more phallic like organisms, and getting grazed by a couple more shots from the man who seems to be after him. 

Can Ford get ONE moment to collect himself? 

“Drop the Egg, dipshit!” The man calls from behind him as he shoots another blast in his direction, but Ford isn’t listening for some reason, just running and dodging and trying to survive, before having to slide to a halt.

He looks down as a couple of rocks fall from the ledge where the path ends, leaving him with his back turned towards the crazed man with the gun.

“Ok! Ok--” He turns around, and oh wow, this guy was fast. Ford was met eye to eye with the tip of the laser gun, already powering up for the next blast. “Here, take the egg! Take the egg- I don’t even… I don’t even want it!”

The mystery man squints, looking him over a bit, and then lowering his gun as his eyes widen a bit. “Stan? What the fuck are you doing out here, asshole?” The stranger looks a little angry, holding the gun up again a little more aggressively.

“Stan-- you… you know my name?” The panic is clear over his face, stepping back away from the gun and as close to the edge as he could, holding out a six fingered hand in defense with the egg under his arm. 

The taller man looks over Ford’s fingers, mumbling under his breath, like he’s counting. “... Three four, five….six.” Ford can practically see the man thinking. “ ‘The living dead’… ‘five instead of six’… jesus fucking-” His face drops into an annoyance as he mumbles to himself, dropping his gun and pinching the bridge of his nose. Ford is confused “Of fucking course he would-- this is why I don’t make fucking deals!” He yells at the sky, fists dramatically shaking at the passing clouds. “This is why you don’t make fucking deals--” He points his finger into Ford’s face, and Ford flinches, wondering why this man is giving him crazy accurate advice. 

“I-- How did you know my name?” He repeats his question, standing up a little firmer, holding the egg closer to himself. “Are you human?”

“That’s kind of a philosophical question, isn’t it?” The stranger answers while reaching for the egg, but Ford pulls it away from his grasp, holding it over the edge of the cliff like he’s going to drop it.  
“What the fuck are you doing?” The taller man yells, freezing in place. Looks like this egg is a sore spot, and gives Ford an advantage. “Yes I’m fucking human, isn’t it obvious? Do you need your fucking glasses checked or something?” He reaches a little more “Hand over the egg.” 

“I just-- I just need a little help. I’m not supposed to be here!” 

“Yes, you are actually.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are, now hand over the fucking egg!” The blue haired man yells, and then pulls away with a dramatic huff like he gave up trying to convince the scientist. He puts two fingers in his mouth, and whistles loudly, and Ford looks up. A familiar screech fills the air again as the silhouette of a bird flies up a head. No, that’s a person. No… that’s a… bird person? 

A large man with feathers and wings swoops in, flying past the edge of the cliff and snatching the egg from Ford’s hand. The stranger holds his hand up in the air, and the bird hybrid drops the large egg off into his hand effortlessly. Oh, ok. That was kind of cool. 

“Thanks, BP”. Talons dig into the ground as he's thanked by the blue haired man, sitting up to a very intimidating height as he unruffled his feathers.

“Who is this person, Rick?” ‘BP’ speaks in a monotone voice, stiff and still with his eyes trained on Ford.

“He’s my end of some shitty deal. Squanchy got the ship ready?” Rick looks tired and annoyed, tucking the egg under his arm as he turns around, walking back into the forest. “Let’s go, sixer.”


	2. Chapter 2

“So, this egg is the offspring of a warrior class bipedal alien species. This species’s life span is short, so, they mature fast, and you will be able to raise it to a strong, healthy, brainwashed adult within two weeks so that way it will help you fight this ‘galactic federation’.”

There is a burp. “Yeup.”

“So. You are trying to raise a war machine? You are going to raise this child to be a tool for your silly little war?”

The ship bumps a bit as Rick’s head swerves around to get a better look at the other human in the back seat, squished next to Birdperson since the feline appearing alien called “shotgun”. This is a very interesting group of “friends” and Ford is experiencing a bit of culture shock. Is culture the right word? Space shock? Interdemnsional shock? 

“A silly little war? Y-you think,” Another burp “You think stopping a fucking interdimensional dictatorship is ju-just some s-s-silly little war, sixer?”

That nickname makes him cringe, cheek pressed to the window. “Stan. My name is Stan.”

“Yeah, w-with a face like that, I’m not calling you that.”

“My name? You wont call me my name?”

“Nope.” He takes another swing from his flask, handing it off to Squanchy. “Listen, Fordsy,” That nickname also makes him cringe, but, not for the same reasons, so he will let it slide. “I’m not here to take some ethical parenting advice on my soon to be war criminal child, esp-especially since you don’t know jack shit about the species, th-this war, ooooor on anything at all for that matter.”

“I have 12 PHDs.”

“Is one of them in being a fucking loser? Up squanch.” Rick and Squanchy high five, and Ford frowns. That wasn’t even a good burn. “Listen, your situation sounds like it fucking sucks, but, apparently, the “universe”,” He raises his hands for the air quotes, the ship swerving a bit “has other plans for you, and you are going to be chilling with us for a while.”

“What?” Ford shimmies his way from in between the window and Birdperson, poking his head up to the front, barely sitting on his seat. “You have your portable interdimensional gate way--”

“For the love of whatever god is in this dimension, PLEASE call it a fucking portal gun.”

Ford’s face twitches. “You have your “portal gun”, you can get me home right now if you wanted to. Let me go home, I have to get back home.”

“N-no can do.”

“And why is that?”

“It’s--” He looks down at his pocket, but up to the stars in front of him. “Dead.”

“You made a portal gun that needs to be charged?”

“Doesn’t sound like the portal you made was any f-fucking better, freakazoid.” He lets go of the steering wheel, Squanchy reaching over and grabbing one side of it to keep them some what on track while Rick was distracted getting in Ford’s face. Rick is pressing his knee’s into the driver’s seat, leaning over and practically bumping foreheads with Ford as his unibrow twitches together in anger as he speaks. “Look, I made some shitty fucking deal with some skeevy fucking guy that he would give me some sorta tool to help me out in this war- I don’t think you understand the severity of being a war criminal against the intergalactic federation, but it’s bigger than a-a-any fucking petty crime of treason you can commit on Earth. It’s my fucking fault for not being more specific with the guy that I didn’t want my tool to be A. Annoying. B. A-a-a fucking dumbass that I have to spoon feed answers to, and C-” Ford is shrinking into the seat, eyes wide behind his glasses as Rick shoves a finger into his chest. “Not a physical tool, but some brainiac foureyed freak that I have to figure out what he has to fucking offer me. So, no, I-I’m not going to just “let you go home” because you are needed for a greater purpose. Fucking sucks to s-suck, huh?”

He's stunned, and a little quiet, Squanchy still just keeps them on the right track for wherever the hell they were headed, and Bird person just staring out the window quietly. “That’s…” Ford speaks quietly, before clearing his throat, sitting up and trying to stick up for himself. “That’s not my problem! I’m not suppose to be here-”

“Yes you fucking are.” Rick practically yells, turning back around swatting Squanchy’s paw away from the steering wheel. “Look-- Look at this.” He reaches into the glove department, pulling out a note on a torn up piece of paper. He throws it at Ford.

“Your heart is right but where is your head?  
You will soon be met with the living dead!  
There is no such thing as a quick fix,  
Instead of five, there will be six, along with very new conflict.   
No one likes a liar, it will be your responsibility to keep up your credibility.   
A deal made with me is never free, but what about with he?”

“See? The six? Your six fingers? Do you get it? Do you-- do you get--” 

“Yes, yes, I get it. I get it, I have six fingers, and it’s in this weird poem.” Ford pressed his bushy eyebrows together, flipping the paper around. On the back, towards the bottom of the page wrote: “Klbd Vlahu, eh jrrg iru brxu qhz iulhqg, brx'oo ilqg rxw vrrq hqrxjk brx wzr kdyh d orw pruh lq frpprq wkdq brx wklqn! Zlqn.”

“I think its a riddle, not a poem, but-”

“This is…..” His eyes scan over it, decoding it quickly after trying a few different methods. His eyes go wide, dropping the paper into his lap. “You made a deal with Bill?” Ford yells, and it’s the most emotion the gang has seen from him since their journey. “Do you know what you have done?”

Rick’s eyes close and he leans away a bit when Ford yells, rolling his eyes as he starts to enter the atmosphere of a planet. “Yeah, yeah. Making a deal with some triangle fuck wasn’t my smartest move, but, I’m young, sue me. W-we make mistakes, we don’t shame mistakes in this ship, right guys?”

“You’re an idiot!” He balls up the note, throwing it at the driver. “There is no way I’m helping anyone who has made a deal with Bill! I don’t care how much for the “greater good” it is! You just stole a child-” he points to the egg in BP’s lap. “You are drunk, flying a spaceship. There is a talking cat that beat me for shot gun--” “You can’t call me a cat, you can’t reclaim that!” Squanchy speaks up, pointing a clawed finger at Ford, but Ford keeps going. It looks like that “dimension shock” finally broke him. “This person… Bird, thing, wont make eyecontact with anyone and talks like a machine-- I landed on a walking ballsack on my way down here, and I need to get back to my-”

“Ship, subdue anyone in this vehicle that has an extra set of digits they aren’t suppose to.”

A mechanical arm comes out with a needle from the dashboard, stabbing Ford in the neck, and injecting him with something that knocks him out completely. 

“Alright, Birdperson, get the luggage, Squanchy, g-grab the freak, we are here at the BnB. We gotta practice for our show tomorrow."


End file.
